LADIES:UNCLE SAM NEEDS YOU--U.S. RECOVERY PARTIES « Result #1 on Apr 2, 2009, 2:45pm »
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Hiding Smokers « Result #2 on Mar 14, 2009, 1:22am »
Two nuns were in back of the convent smoking cigarettes, when one said,"It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the cigarette butts so Mother Superior doesn't find them."
The second nun said, "I've found a marvelous invention called the condom, which really solves this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later!"
The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.
"You get them at the drug store, sister, just go and ask the pharmacist for them." The next day the good sister went to the drug store and walked up to the counter. "Good morning, sister," said the pharmacist.
"What can I do for you today?"
"I'd like some condoms, please," said the nun. The pharmacist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked,
"How many boxes would you like? There are twelve to a box."
"I'll take six boxes - that should last about a week," she replied.
The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time, and was almost afraid to ask any more questions, but his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice, "Sister, what size condoms would you like - we have large, extra large, and big liar size."
The sister thought for a minute, and finally said, "I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel."
My husband asked me to go to the post office to mail his resume in anticipation of a job interview. He instructed me to send it the fastest way possible.
Struck by the urgency in his voice, I grabbed a handful of change and dashed out the door. Arriving at the post office, I rushed to the counter and breathlessly explained to the clerk that my envelope had to be delivered immediately . He casually weighed the envelope and said it would cost $ 10.03.I fumbled through my pockets and tallied up my coins. "But I don't have $ 10. 03, " I said. He punched some more buttons and said, "Okay, that will be $ 7. 40, ma am.
Once more I said in dismay, "Sorry, I don't have $ 7.40.
"Well," he sighed, "exactly how much do you have?"
I meekly answered, "I have exactly $ 2. 15, sir."
With that, he yelled over his shoulder to a coworker, "Hey, Charlie, get the pigeon ready.
True Forgiveness « Result #4 on Feb 26, 2009, 8:59pm »
Forty-three years seems like a long time to remember the name of a mere acquaintance. I have duly forgotten the name of an old lady who was a customer on my paper route when I was a twelve-year-old boy in Marinette, Wisconsin back in 1954. wow power leveling Yet it seems like just yesterday that she taught me a lesson in forgiveness that I can only hope to pass on to someone else someday.
On a mindless Saturday afternoon, wow gold, a friend and I were throwing rocks onto the roof of the old lady’s house from a secluded spot in her backyard. The object of our play was to observe how the rocks changed to missiles as they rolled to the roof’s edge and shot out into the yard like comets falling from the sky.
I found myself a perfectly smooth rock and sent it for a ride. The stone was too smooth, however, so it slipped from my hand as I let it go and headed straight for a small window on the old lady’s back porch. At the sound of fractured glass,wow power leveling we took off from the old lady’s yard faster than any of our missiles flew off her roof.
I was too scared about getting caught that first night to be concerned about the old lady with the broken porch window. However, a few days later, when I was sure that I hadn’t been discovered, I started to feel guilty for her misfortune. She still greeted me with a smile each day when I gave her the paper, but I was no longer able to act comfortable in her presence.
I made up my mind that I would save my paper delivery money, and in three weeks I had the seven dollars that I calculated would cover the cost of her window.wow power leveling I put the money in an envelope with a note explaining that I was sorry for breaking her window and hoped that the seven dollars would cover the cost for repairing it.
I waited until it was dark, snuck up to the old lady’s house, and put the envelope of retribution through the letter slot in her door. My soul felt redeemed and I couldn’t wait for the freedom of, once again, looking straight into the old lady’s eyes.
The next day, wow gold I handed the old lady her paper and was able to return the warm smile that I was receiving from her. She thanked me for the paper and said, “Here, I have something for you.” It was a bag of cookies. I thanked her and proceeded to eat the cookies as I continued my route.
After several cookies,wow gold I felt an envelope and pulled it out of the bag. When I opened the envelope, I was stunned. Inside was the seven dollars and a short note that said, “I’m proud of you.”
Re: Welcome! « Result #5 on Feb 20, 2009, 9:39pm »
Fund Raising Idea
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